I wanted to share a story with you that I have compiled from the sessions with my relationship coaching clients.
Once upon a time, in a country far far away there were women who were working very hard. These women were in two categories. Some would complain about not finding the type of men that they are looking for and the others would complain about not being able to change the men that they have found.
Almost all the women that weren’t able to find the men they were looking for would dream of a wedding picture. Some would want a wedding in countryside and the others in a ballroom setting. No matter where the wedding would be, all women would search for the man that would give the best picture shot in the wedding. That man would be a good looking, wealthy man that had a good job and education. However the women in this country have never asked themselves the question of “Can I have lifetime happiness with this man in the picture?” They would dream not of a happy home but a happy wedding picture.
These women were all told a very familiar lie. “I can have both a baby and a career”. They all knew about it but for some reason they have all believed in this lie. Their naturally fragile bodies have started to endure much more burdens. Everyday they would wake up in the very early hours of the morning. They would get to work after a long commute. They would draw their swords and have many pitched battles. Most of them would emerge victorious from these battles. They all have forgotten that warfare was meant for men.
Those women that found and married the man in the picture would go back to their work as soon as their babies were born. Because their work was very important and there were many more battles to be won. These women, who very well knew the needs of their customers buying their products, would never ask the needs of their spouses and never wonder about those needs. These men whose needs are not met would search to satisfy their needs in other places and things when they felt unfulfilled.
The story is such that, while conquering the battles was so important for these women, they would never appreciate their men who would conquer even bigger battles everyday. Most women in this country had even forgotten about what appreciation had meant.
The women in this country were scared to death about surrendering themselves to their men. On one side, they would want a strong man who manages them, and on the other side they would want everything to be “their way”. They were not aware of these contradictions either.
The women in this country would always strive for changing the men and make them the men of their dreams. However, they unfortunately never knew that they would come across the men of their dreams once they choose to be a woman themselves.
From the sky, fell three apples. One on the head of the storyteller, one on the head of the story listener. The last one fell on the head of the woman. So that she could have a wake up call…